Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Back to School......now? ... Me?

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.
Napoleon Hill

Oh, soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
Tom Lehrer

One day I was looking at my blog, a blog post from time's past, when one anonymous chap criticized my writing on my use of the word “formidable.” The funny part oif it was the man wanted to criticize me on account of my “self-conscious prose.” Frightful. I never was more self-conscious in my writing than following that horrid accusation. My writing may drift into the realms of affectation or frivolity. My chief fault if anything was my lack of self-consciousness. Once again we see where one man tries to find his way into another man's head, an intrepid endeavor to say the least.

Of course, I have little formal schooling where I could learn what an English professor would view as my or some other person's writing as “self-conscious prose.” Perhaps I am due to continue my schooling. This inquiry has been with me for two years. I always wondered what it is about the word “formidable” that would qualify it as “self-conscious prose.” My hope is I will be able to see what words in the English language I would have to avoid to protect other's delicate sensibilities.... But that creates a double bind. I would become more self-conscious than ever.

I write all this in humor, of course. It is a sad day when I take any of this, this blogging too seriously. Right now, I am priming upo to start on my next evolution. I am looking to start teaching. Life for me has been following one service job after another. I have to say I am eager top establish a new path for myself. I am now in the college computer, and anxious over facing a classroom for the first time in thirteen years.

I hav e started this process, retrieving transcripts, meeting with counselors, planning a study course, and planning, at the age of thirty-seven, to finish a four-year degree. My goal, though, is to teach English overseas, and am getting a lot of support. I will keep you all posted.

Thank you for reading.

(following are some note I wrote before......thought I lost them, was surprized to find them on the blog)
I am sitting in Breaking New Grounds Coffee shop, waiting to embark on another day throwing groceries in insanely cold temperatures. I love the freezer, and I love many aspects of life in the service sector. I have decided I really need to pursue more. I wrote in m onths past I was looking to make more money, and I have taken steps to further plans I had a long time ago.

It is frustrating to admit all the back-burner plans in my life. Having read so much on personal organization, I have to say I do not benefit myself in stating anything overly negative about myself in this respect, but I do know historically I have had challenges following through on my plans. I have had enormously helpful people, enormously encouraging people. I have known a wealth of books designed to coax, help, shame, and in spire me into different living.

I think that is why I identify so heavily with Sheldon Kopp's book. There is no truth that can be impartted upon me. I can read books all my life, but it is only when an idea wants to germinate, when I really want something, when my heart is ready toi change, that the new behaviour takes place. I suppose I could get my PhD. and write a book, explaining how I will say nothing in truth that will change your life.

So, if you are inspired by the thought you might want to teach English overseas, I have several links on this blog with information. I have not a single inspiring link.


obscurio said...

good luck with the teaching. i always find your posts an education. ;`)

sue said...

Thank you for your comment on one of my posts. It is deeply appreciated.
Only two people know of my blogspot (I invited them because I was sure they would understand as they know me on a personal level). And I have been apprehensive and overly worried (if there is such a term) that someone else would see my secret world of fragility and shatter its serenity.
Your kind words are an affirmation of my belief of human nature's sincere gentility. Thank you.

P.S. I hope your teaching plans would materialize. The younger generation deserves a teacher with a heart. :)

P.S.S. Walang anuman (you're welcome). :)