Thursday, May 15, 2008

I Just Want to Have Some Accountability!

I was reflecting on my statement that I would have the whole world as my accountability group. I, of course, say that tongue in cheek. But I know, with the exception of my closest family and friends, no one really holds me accountable for anything... Clever stunt. I can act like I am being all honest, all proactive. But, when I get a text message this morning asking me if I was ready to go to the doctors again... well I knew I was falling behind in my resolve.

I said, you know, going to the doctor is not all that important. I have had these problems a long time. I said, it is no big deal. I said, everything happens in God's good time... Just read my last post for clarity on that one. I get afraid, and one of the things I do not like, is seeing doctors without medical insurance, without knowing what is wrong (am I crazy?), and without knowing how long it will take to get me back to reasonably full function.

In the past months I have lost hours on my weekly schedule due to my reduced production. It is amazing how easy it is to ignore such things even when my income is reduced to ridiculously low levels.

So, I hopped on the next bus, got in with the social worker, and will be with a doctor Monday morning... He will have my lab work in hand, and we can see where I have to go from there.

As for pressing issues:

If walking had not deteriorated I would not see this as pressing. I am thinking about my visualization, how I am staying optimistic, how I am moving in the right directions.

I told my friend, who admonished me this morning for not being at the doctor's office, that I fell from a stopped position on my bike, almost rolling under the wheel of a big white pickup. The driver, a man with lightening reflexes swerved to avoid me. So, my body is indeed a pressing issue in need of immediate attention.

I will not be so foolish as to suggest otherwise. The driver, a painter named Ezra, was quite content to throw my bike in his truck, and get me to my destination.... I would say that as embarrassed as I am to admit these things, I have to know that the world is full of good people, and I am truly blessed to be alive.

Thank you for reading.


Babette said...

What happened to you is scary Keith! I do hope you use a helmet.
Don't put off seeing the doctor. Whether they give you good news (I hope) or bad news, it's better knowing what's wrong. I don't know if you're into prayers but I will say a prayer for you.

Definitely Maybe!
Not Just Another Blog...

Keith said...

Babette, if I am going to make Bistek or pancit palabok (lug lug) I must stay alive to do it.... Indeed, these things scare. Prayers are always appreciated. Salamat.

obscurio said...

OMG Keith - oh yeah, i don't have one.
I'm beginning to wonder if this is your year of living dangerously. I wonder if the blood lab has detected high traces of bergamot...
a unique case obviously. ;`)

simpleyesa said...

God gave you tough problems because He knew you can get through. Just believe in Him and everything will be alright. =)

haze said...

Hi Keith, sorry to learn about your accident, hope you will fell better! Seeing a doctor is important! A lot of people like in my country likes to see a doctor but sad to say some are not financially capable. So take care of yourself when you're able.

I too hate going there but it's necessary especially when I see my kids growing so fast....they need me! And I still have so many good things to do on earth :D like you do !

Take care !

My said...

The only thing that scares me most is being sick, but seeing the doctor helps. You should do something about it before it gets late.

Santa Cruz Nick said...

That's a scary story, hope the news is good from the doctor. The sooner you know what the problem is, the sooner you can do something about it.