After, listening to all the commentaries on forgiveness, I have been struck with what a forgiving readership I have. I think to my challenges, and to my righteous anger, and then read about all the forgiving souls I have listening to me. This it for me a challenge.
I have some people that know what I believe. I may b e a little quiet, a little ambiguous on that. I know that for me, I see how important this is to many folk, and I would never actively deprecate anyone for having these ideas that seem to swim in the direction of altruism. I am not altruistic, and when I contemplate the concept of 70x 7, m,y thoughts move to a world where maybe people would admit their faults before I could forgive them. In this world, one thing I know is my willingness to admit my faults only invites others with opportunistic zeal, to trounce upon me when they feel a need to attack someone. So, I offer up today's course description, and am willing to resume our talks on forgiveness.
In church I was taught to be contrite. I was taught to have remorse when I did things wrong. Here I am told I have to let these things go, if only for my own peace of mind. Some people will never own up to their mistakes.
Yes, I read from the course that my forgiveness will heal me. I know my forgiveness will save my heart, and my health, so perhaps I am silly to deny myself this. I told my coworker, a beautiful, discerning woman, that I was distraught over all the free flowing claims of people's forgiving natures...
She looked at me tenderly, and said with great love, “Keith, these people want to show you how they put these principles in practice. Perhaps they are arrogant, or perhaps they are sincere. It is possible that they are trying to act better than you, or maybe they are filled with a conviction, backed up with worldly experience...”
“:... In any case, you have to forgive them.” (She seemed tickled by this). Sigh.
Well, she did not say I have to forgive anyone else. I guess that is fine. So, how do I get from last discussion to today's course offering from the Stanford catalog?
I think maybe some more mindfulness will serve me well as I mull over the eighteen responses I had to my last post. I am feeling oxygen deprived, and I crave my chances to witness entropy in the world, and the degradation of the glues that hold it all together as oxidation brings everything back down to its base elements. I need to meditate, and you all think I need to forgive. Seventy times seven was the message
Mindfulness is my next course. I am learning how to be open to thjese ideas. I suppose you all are helping me along the way.
Thank you reading.
As for the doctor, I actually know the name of my doctor, and I am delivering the release form they want so they can review my past neuro records. I will be in expert care, as my neuro doc comes with very high recommendation.