Forgiveness as a practice is taught by all the major religious traditions of
the world. These diverse doctrines all claim that forgiveness can help heal
relationships, soothe painful emotions, and serve as an example of the
religious life. The importance of practicing forgiveness has been extolled
for centuries, but only in the past ten years has research demonstrated that
forgiveness promotes physical and mental health. Specifically, our research
has shown that interpersonal forgiveness can lead to decreased depression,and
through blood pressure, stress, and hurt; increased hope, physical vitality,
and self-confidence; and, most important, reduced anger. In this course we
will explore forgiveness from a biological, psychological, and social
perspective. We will reflect upon the need for forgiveness in our own lives,
and through guided practice, work with one of the few forgiveness
methodologies that has been successfully subjected to scientific examination.
My name is Keith, and I am a vitriolic. I am here to claim my powerlessness over vitrioles in my life. My life, encumbered by the weight of my growing cynicism, and the darkness of my addiction. I started using oxygen at an early age. I started sneaking breaths as far back as 1970, and my desire to claim, to use, indulge in oxygen to satisfy my cravings became overwhelming.
Oxygen, I know, is not the heart of my addiction. My life of indulgence culminates in this plague of righteousness that fills my soul on a regular basis. It is not for me to deal out judgement. It is not for me to see what is righjt or wrong in this world. I am addicted to vitrioles. I am addicted to the burn, the bite. I feel a surge in the way oxygen rots paint jobs, the way it makes my olive oil rancid. My love of oxygen comes from the enormity of its power.
How much iron oxide was produced in the over nine decades since the Titanic went under water? What decay, what transformation took place in the bodies of the many hundreds of bodies that sank with the ship? I know there was a moment. I feel a vitriole coming on. I think that I am not the only one that watched the 1996 Titanic film, with our blood oxygenating in our lungs, and feeling quickened during those moments in which Rose calls out to Jack.
Her hands held his, as she calls out, him getting weaker in the frigid water, as she says, "Jack. Jack... I will never let go. I will never let go." Who else, besides me, felt a niacin flush, skin blazing hot as Rose looks into Jack's eyes, one last time, and ...
Well, she lets go. I saw the director's cut of Titanic, and I saw the camera cut to Rose, her hand going limp, and Jack Dawson( Di Capprio) sinking below the water. In that one soft, tender moment she looks at her lover, sinking to his death, as she whispers inaudibly "It must suck being you."
So, here I am, early in my acid recovery. I am just learning the basics of the twelve steps. I am admitting my powerlessness. I see the draw of the vitrioles. Righteous anger has no more place in my heart. So, with me striving to achieve a more reasonable pH -in my body, mind and soul- I strive to listen to my customers. I work in health food store, as one man walked up to me, and said with complete conviction, "All these dried foods are acid, all of them." I felt a moment of quiet reflection, tried to release myself from the enticement, the excitement of the thought, and knew temptation was at hand.
I went to the bathroom, rinsed my mouth with baking soda, washed my hands in a good alkaline soap, and resolved to trust God, a little more. Just for today.
Thank you for reading.
As an aside, I want to say I have not yet heard from my doctor. I do have to check my voice mail when I get home. But , also good news, for those knowing I am going to school, I have an appointment to go to see about my financial aid application in the college tomorrow.