This has been a wonderful couple weeks. I have been to my family's home in San Jose. I have enjoyed the company of family and friends., I have seen the valley I called home for over 35 years. Still, due to mix of complications, I was not able to spend much time with my family.
Still, I was able toi retrieve my birth certificate. I was able to get an official copy of my college transcripts, and I was able to arrange appointments with Social Security, and with my college.
This week, I met with the fine people at Social Security, who were able to walk me through, painlessly the process of applying for disability payments.
I have to reapply for my County medical aid, and with patience, I have seen many things fall into place. People always remind me, that even if I think I am late, I can always be late. I no longer believe in letting things fall apart because of missed deadlines.
In the earliest months of this year, I created this blog, a resurrection of a previous blog, which I destroyed out of lack of inspiration, and hurt feelings.
Now I see how in the months I started out posting on here, I was forging out my own personal vision. It may seem scattered, but even those closest to me think I have moments of being scattered. Still, my inspiration comes when i can see how, by my regular journaling, I am forging out a game plan for my life.
I have faced the challenges of my mobility. I am preparing to go to school. I am learning other languages, and I have plans on teaching overseas. I have never acted so inspired, nor as directed in my whole life as I have in the past nine months. This is my gestation, my baby. My life is germinating wonderfulness everyday, and i need only move forward, taking the next indicated actions... No wonder these sprouting raw foods people appeal to me so much. Germination is what it is all about.
I have sat in Redding, CA wholly uninspired since December. I have fretted over my health, fretted over my money, and mostly fretted over my lack of vision. I still do not think The Secret is the vision for me.
I do believe that dating someone who wanted me to build her fortune, and her future using the principles of Rhonda Byrne's visionary Law of Attrtaction was at the core of my disgust. I have known people who always begin to explain their passionately flawed actions with the words "I thought."
I think as a society it would raise the standard of honesty if we explain our actions from time to time with the words "I felt..." It is insulting to listen to someone's chattering teeth as they explain away their ridiculous actions as the result of thought. I know when my writing is passionate. I know when I speak with passion that I face the challenge of reduced objectivity. Still, I am not afraid to use the words "I feel" as an affirmation of my own humanity.
Sigh. Maybe I can start using the words "I think" more often, and work up m y resume' for a spot on the Fox News channel.