Saturday, August 9, 2008

Just Another Pile of Papers

This has been a wonderful couple weeks. I have been to my family's home in San Jose. I have enjoyed the company of family and friends., I have seen the valley I called home for over 35 years. Still, due to mix of complications, I was not able to spend much time with my family.

Still, I was able toi retrieve my birth certificate. I was able to get an official copy of my college transcripts, and I was able to arrange appointments with Social Security, and with my college.

This week, I met with the fine people at Social Security, who were able to walk me through, painlessly the process of applying for disability payments.

I have to reapply for my County medical aid, and with patience, I have seen many things fall into place. People always remind me, that even if I think I am late, I can always be late. I no longer believe in letting things fall apart because of missed deadlines.

In the earliest months of this year, I created this blog, a resurrection of a previous blog, which I destroyed out of lack of inspiration, and hurt feelings.

Now I see how in the months I started out posting on here, I was forging out my own personal vision. It may seem scattered, but even those closest to me think I have moments of being scattered. Still, my inspiration comes when i can see how, by my regular journaling, I am forging out a game plan for my life.

I have faced the challenges of my mobility. I am preparing to go to school. I am learning other languages, and I have plans on teaching overseas. I have never acted so inspired, nor as directed in my whole life as I have in the past nine months. This is my gestation, my baby. My life is germinating wonderfulness everyday, and i need only move forward, taking the next indicated actions... No wonder these sprouting raw foods people appeal to me so much. Germination is what it is all about.

I have sat in Redding, CA wholly uninspired since December. I have fretted over my health, fretted over my money, and mostly fretted over my lack of vision. I still do not think The Secret is the vision for me.

I do believe that dating someone who wanted me to build her fortune, and her future using the principles of Rhonda Byrne's visionary Law of Attrtaction was at the core of my disgust. I have known people who always begin to explain their passionately flawed actions with the words "I thought."

I think as a society it would raise the standard of honesty if we explain our actions from time to time with the words "I felt..." It is insulting to listen to someone's chattering teeth as they explain away their ridiculous actions as the result of thought. I know when my writing is passionate. I know when I speak with passion that I face the challenge of reduced objectivity. Still, I am not afraid to use the words "I feel" as an affirmation of my own humanity.

Sigh. Maybe I can start using the words "I think" more often, and work up m y resume' for a spot on the Fox News channel.

16 comments:

saintnick said...

You do have the Irish lineage and resultant temper to be one of those Fox blowhards, but do you have the twisted logic, complete lack of scruples, and absence of any human decency to do the job? You're better off keeping your dignity.

Nick in Santa Cruz

luna miranda said...

Hi, Keith! Thank you for visiting my site.:D

This post is inspiring---just what I need today. I haven't read your other posts yet but I feel that I'm going to like them.

P.S. After all the hype of The Secret, there was no secret there.:D

Akira 思胜 said...

Good luck to u and all the best!!!

Kikey Loo said...

do what you want to do, sometimes after think too much, nothing will come true....

marites1034 said...

Hi there...thanks for visiting for my blog:) this is rather a tall pile of papers you got there..hope it has gotten shorter now:) So, you are from Redding, CA. I stayed there for a night to visit a friend. Nice place. btw, u wanna xlinks?

Keith said...

Nick, I have no idea WHAT YOUR LINEAGE IS.... But, you do remember a little about mine. Always good to hear from you

Keith said...

Luna, I think with your inspired rubber stamp, you have my vote.

Between your rubber stamp, and your views on the Secret, I believe you to be a most inspired blogger.

Bienvenida.

Keith said...

Akira, left foot, right foot... all is coming together.

Keith said...

Kikey Loo, I am most gratified you would stop in my blog on your busy travel schedule

Keith said...

Marites, I will display yours if you display mine....

Nyl said...

as there is a time for grieving over past hurt, "i think" there must also be a time for moving on...and your time is now. i see you brave enough, no reason that you'll not make it. goodluck keith!;)

laura said...

hi! keith,thanks for visiting my site,

ur site is really inspiring and Iam happy that I am here.

well anyway about ur visayan words its happy to know that ur kahibalo means u know that even a lil.hehehe keep it up.

maayong buntag god bless you more and more.

Keith said...

Nyl, drug addicts often speak of having relapse when they go back to destructive behaviours...

Perhaps, as I have actually been living quite recovered for a considerable period, that this outburst is evidence of my own "relapse."

Some incident had occurred recently which spurred me on to get angry all over again....

LOL.... God is good. I am sure my growth and development will continue on...

Zen Ventures said...

Nicely executed. Life is definitely a journey and not a guided tour. Your deep thoughts and views in this so called life is just so reflective of how life is treating you right now. It will pass and I hope it pass by so quickly...btw, thanks for stopping by my site and leaving your thoughts.

Kabayan right?

Maricris

Zen Ventures said...

The influx of "Filipino attendance" in your blog, had made me think you were one. That's classic! I got fooled. Well, I'm impress that you knew some of my dialect and more. Have you ever lived in Asia? I wouldn't be surprised unless you learned it in Cali where a big population of Filipino saturates the state.

Keith said...

Maayong gabii, Maricris. Welcome to my site, and Salamat kaayo for your wonderful thoughts.

Come back again