Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It is seven in the evening, and I know after talking on the phone with a most beautiful woman in Jakarta at nine in the morning, California time, my New Year had already started. It is silly for me to think the new year begins with my area-centric perspectives on time. If that was truly significant, then I should probably start reading my horoscope again. Yikes! What a horrifying thought that is.

It is for me already 2009. I have spoken to people across the world that have assured me this is indeed true. My day is quiet, and with no desire to lose sleep, no desire to get drunk, and no desire to have some dissociative disorder develop from celebrating the same event twice in one day, I think it is fine to go to bed at ten o'clock tonight.

Maybe there will be firecrackers tonight. Maybe there will be people getting drunk. Perhaps many folk will be banging pots, and kissing loved ones, or sipping sparkling wines from plastic fluted cups. Maybe Dick Clark still has a Rocking New Year's Celebration broadcasting fr4om New York. Then others will be watching old movies, eating good food with friends while watching old mo0vies on television. This day is a special day.

This day is my day to understand in my heart why resolutions are important. My chance to see why I want to affirm changes in my life today. So many people talked of the failures of New Year's resolutions, and I wonder why I lost the point. I now know my own renewal, my own time for reflection must always remain personal. Do I have resolutions this year? Of course I do. But amazingly, I have to look at this year as a time to think back on what changes occurred in 2008.

2008 was a time for me to make many changes, and it was conversations today that remind me how much has happened in my life this year. I am working towards a change in the way I work. I am affirming my acceptance I can no longer rely on my body as the vehicle to work. I have had twenty years in service jobs. Now, it is truly time for a change.

Just as quitting smoking was a failure until I got sick enough I could not do it anymore, I now am at a point where I can no longer use my body as a device to make money reliably. So, finally, I am making changes, many changes. It is a part of my makeup that I must acknowledge these positive things, because it is funny how when the work is being done, sometimes it is hard to see where it is getting me.

Change for me is inevitable. I do have a say in how it manifests in my life. So with this I welcome the year 2009. I welcome the changes in my life. I welcome the new challenges. I am grateful for this day to move forward. Still, I am quite content to be asleep when the clock strikes midnight. God bless you all.

Thank you for reading.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Selamat datang! Tahun Baru 2009

The Christmas Season is coming to an end... Theyear is wrapping up, and I am getting ready to start another semestern at school.... Stay tuned. Here is my last dose of Christmas cheer for 2008. Enjoy the music!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Coming Back Home...

Wacky folk in San Jose descended on me today. Visiting with some friends, I had to tell them I am not so good at taking care of myself. San Jose has been my base of operations for thirty-five years, and many people here have known my idiosyncrasies for the bulk of time since 1992. My mother and other family will claim knowledge going back much further than that. I am always feeling a sense of love and renewal every time I come here.

Of my friends, they sit and patiently listen to me explain all my reasons why I do not take care of myself. I have a new phone list with many phone numbers I have had in times past. I know many of them say they miss me, and am glad I came to our little gathering in a church here in the Blossom Valley. Few people know where the Blossom Valley is any more. Covered mostly in concrete, it is wild to think that the name reflected the nature of this valley, that we had many orchards, and bountiful harvests.

I grew up in a time after the development of Apple computers. Once the compute age was upon us, all the orchards started disappearing. This is the Silicon Valley in a time past its boom. As I come here, I reflect on what a gorgeous place this county still is. I am grateful t see my family and friends in this period before Christmas.

As rude as my friends are, many of them remind me of the wonderful work I do, and have do0ne to get better. Many of them remind me what a wonderful thing it is to call on a regular basis. I am clear that as I get lost in my minor depressions, I do disassociate from many of the folk that care about me most. So, what have I really shared in this blog? Last May I shared that I had abstained from booze since 1999. Gratefully, I can still claim that.

Now, in lieu of my health problems, my bad attitude, my movement to disability, and my effort to learn a new way to make money, I now have people looking through this window, and asking me “What really, are you doing to take care of yourself?” In this holiday period, I am grateful, immensely grateful to see who my true friends are. I am able to see my family. I am able to pray, clear my head, and remember what actions moved me forward, brought me relief, and settled my heart.

Now, once again, I can move back home, and act like a man with some purpose in his life. That is all I want to report for now.

Thank you for reading.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Robots? In my Blood? You Crazy?

(I have included links to much information here. I encourage you to investigate them)

As I posted last, I am now preparing for the next move in my schooling. I have received many comments from kind folk wishing me good luck, and prosperity. I have many people encouraging me in exploring my physical problems, and seeking out solutions to those. I am posting, also on my latest enthusiasm. I have watched speaker after speaker on, and feel my brain filling with hope, and excitement as I listen to ideas from the visionaries of our time.

I am not here with any solutions to the world's problems. I listen to “those” visionaries every time I step into McDonald's and take note of the political prognostication that brings life to my hashbrown and sausage mcmuffin. I listen to discussions that convince me I have no right guessing about the future. I am starting to let go of the idea I want technology that is five years old. I am letting go of the idea that I can bubble myself from the speed of change. I am amazed that with all the change that has occurred in my life, I am able to move forward without a host of stress related disorders.

In 1970, Alvin Toffler first published the book Future Shock. I would eventually read it in the 1980's, share it with my psychology instructor, who told me the book not only failed to be about psychology. The book was just not true. Toffler suggested in his book that change was occurring in such an unprecedented rate that entire societies were showing evidence of disorders in health and psychology related to the stresses of an exponential rise in change.

His book arrived on the scene just a few years after the arrival of Moore's Law, predicted the rate of advancement in printed circuit boards would double in number of transistors every two years. Moore's Law serves well as a backdrop for the more expansive theory of Toffler. In 1970, Toffler demonstrated on a graph the exponential rate at which technological advancement has taken place in society, and how we are living in a time where such changes will be astronomical. Today I was watching engineer and longevity scientist Ray Kurzweil speaking on the future of nano-robots, the consistency of change in a chaos model, and the potential dangers of virus study. Thius discussion was especially shocking when I pondered that Kurzweil's biggest foray into popular culture came in the form of a groundbreaking music synthesizer. Now he is talking about immortality and nanorobots?

So, as I court this future plan of mine to be a teacher of English, I am excited to have technology on the side. I still only use my computer for information searches, and word processing. But, even then I am struck at how wild my dream is becoming. I want to teach overseas. I know where I might be teaching, and I know by when I want my degree. So many variables exist in all this, I find comfort in studying a well established language (I am an English major).

Unlike Kurzweil, and gerontologist Aubrey DeGrey, I have no desire to live forever. Still, the science that both are advancing seems to have worldwide implications in healing the troubles of the world. I have high hopes. Kurzweil sees a great world of medical (and other technology) advances. It is a challenge in a time when our clunky medical infrastructure seems so inefficient. Technology may be advancing, but who will get to enjoy the benefits of this new technology? When will we see the fruits of these men's efforts?

Moore's Law, and Toffler's predictions suggest there is no way I can hide from change. So, today again I resolve to move forward.

Thank you for reading.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I Will Keep You Posted

As regards my application to school:

Thank you! Keith, you have successfully completed your application to CSU, Chico! Throughout the application process, there will be a variety of DEADLINEdates which you will be required to meet. It is imperative that you thoroughly read our future communications to you and respond quickly. It is therefore essential to keep us informed if you change your contact information in any way.

If you would like more information about our campus, please visit us on the Web at Better yet, we would love for you to come and visit in person You may also reach us at 530-898-4428 (or 1-800-542-4426) or by e-mail at

Office of Admissions

Monday, December 1, 2008

Christ Climbed Down by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
there were no rootless Christmas trees
hung with candycanes and breakable stars

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
there were no gilded Christmas trees
and no tinsel Christmas trees
and no tinfoil Christmas trees
and no pink plastic Christmas trees
and no gold Christmas trees
and no black Christmas trees
and no powderblue Christmas trees
hung with electric candles
and encircled by tin electric trains
and clever cornball relatives

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no intrepid Bible salesmen
covered the territory
in two-tone cadillacs
and where no Sears Roebuck creches
complete with plastic babe in manger
arrived by parcel post
the babe by special delivery
and where no televised Wise Men
praised the Lord Calvert Whiskey

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no fat handshaking stranger
in a red flannel suit
and a fake white beard
went around passing himself off
as some sort of North Pole saint
crossing the desert to Bethlehem
in a Volkswagen sled
drawn by rollicking Adirondack reindeer
and German names
and bearing sacks of Humble Gifts
from Saks Fifth Avenue
for everybody's imagined Christ child

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no Bing Crosby carollers
groaned of a tight Christmas
and where no Radio City angels
iceskated wingless
thru a winter wonderland
into a jinglebell heaven
daily at 8:30
with Midnight Mass matinees

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and softly stole away into
some anonymous Mary's womb again
where in the darkest night
of everybody's anonymous soul
He awaits again
an unimaginable
and impossibly
Immaculate Reconception
the very craziest of
Second Comings