Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hari ini yang istimewa (This is a special day)


Today is a special day. I am seeing my efforts to move on in school bear fruit. I just received my first envelope from Chico State saying they need more information from me in\ order for me to be a student there. I am thrilled at this. I have no idea where this path should lead me. I do know that I am anxiously waiting for change often blind to the changes occurring all around me.

Starting a year ago, December, I trashed, and nrestarted this blog. I started it with crazy ideas, with anger, with a transparent bad attitude,a dn I still ended up making many friends online. I am thrilled to say that I continue to write often.. I am not as pleased with some developments in my life, but the world always changes in relation to my focus.

So, where is my focus today?

I am set on a plan to finish my bachelor's degree. I want to teach. I want a future now where I can say I have escaped the mess that has evolved from living in service work for the past twenty years. Maybe my health problems were necessary to m ake this evolution come about. I have a chance to move into a world where my work will no longer be contingent on the functionality of my body.

I am with the support of family and friends able to address problems I have had, and largely ignored for close to two years now. My walking ability has declined to where I was falling down regularly. Now, though I am walking with a cane, I have the comfort of knowing my family and fridends are behind me.

It is not that I would ever doubt their support, but as I shared more about my life with them, I saw how willing, how eager people were to help me. Sadly, arranging to see a neurologist has been a challenge. I need to see one if I am ever to move ahead knowing at long last what my diagnosis is. Strange it is that look on people's eyes when th]ey ask me what my problem is, and I tell them “I do not know”

So, today I see how my regular sharing has evolved my mind. I see how this sharing has facilitated my healing. I see how I have become more proactive in the seeking out of answers. Likewise I am able to feel the excitement of being willing to travel again. I wanted to stay angry in 2008. I now know that anger has damaged my body and spirit.

On January 21, 2008, I crossed the blog of a beautiful soul. That is a special thing for me. That person spoke to me this morning, and has shared with me much in the last three hundred sixty-five days. This day I get to see how much of my irrational anger has subsided through the help of people like you reading me today. I see how much of my healing has come through my interactions with people who -through this portal- has chosen to enter my life.

Many of you have told me to take care of myself. Some even told me to listen to my mother. I received comments from readers who told me to grow up. I have shared with many who said my writing seems a confused jumble, and many who told me they have enjoyed joining me in this journey.
I listened to comments of numerous people who wondered if I woulkd ever get baround to doing the things I said I would. This has been a fine year.

Thank you for reading

14 comments:

raqgold said...

hi keith! kapag bumisita ka dito you could use that orange bed, hehehe

good luck with your plans!

Marites said...

breathtaking header pic you got here:) I am wishing you luck in your endeavor.

Keith said...

Raqgold, I would have to visit the islands to get the bed.... Sigh. also. I think that bed,specifically is to small for a 38 year old kano longnose like me.

But the style of the bed..... Tht is cool.

Bienvvenido to my blog.

Keith said...

Marites, I wish I could remember where the picture was from. I change my header from time to time..... That was before Christmas...

Nyl said...

Looking at things in real perspective, sometimes its just so easy to tell people who are mad at life that, "hey!its ok!what you're going through is not a hindrance to reaching your goals in life."..but then maybe when you see your self in the same instance, you could be even more mad than the one you want to give comfort.

Perhaps, this is one reason why we don't have to experience odd thing at exactly same moment so that we'll have each other to hold on to. Just as saying,"when you are weak, i will be strong for you." And this is it keith. During those times when you felt down, there were people who tried to lift you up. Because there is still hope and much joy in life that you just failed to notice finding you too busy then thinking of your disability. But God is so good that he was never too late for sending an angel or angels for you.

well, this is already a long one.:D

I wish you luck!

Keith said...

L.U.C.K.: Labouring under correct knowledge. I am hoping I will stay lucky indeed.

Nyl, your comments, your visits are alwqays welcome.

Salamat kaayo.

Palihug
Remember to pull the door shut when you leavce... or was it push?

Johnny Ong said...

keep up yr blogging

tamrin said...

waw ... cool books. i've downloaded about 3 months ago. but i haven't read it. nice to meet you Keith.

tamrin said...

you can contact me at new_teknokrat@yahoo.com

Nyl said...

push or pull..that depends on what you see on the doorstep keith..but you can do either way if there's no sign.:D

Salamat pud..

Keith said...

Johnny Ong-- Thank yyou for stopping by.

Tamrin-- Am always happy with your visits. Keep studying.

raqgold said...

he keith, you dont have to go to the islands, am in alemanya, and that bed is big enough that my kids get to party there, too :D

anyway, i cant wait for your next update... it would be interesting to know how it goes, your special day.

flamindevil said...

wow.just think positive.definitely, you'll have a good future ahead. :p

haze said...

I am sure you will have your Bachelor's degree Keith because it's your goal and you're working hard for it.

I can see you understand a little bit of Tagalog and Bisaya, it's really nice to know someone who's interested in Tagalog Language co'z it's rare to foreigners ;) ! Hats off and break a leg man !

Keep on blogging it's a nice therapy :D !