Sunday, February 15, 2009
Another Holiday Greeting
I have little regard for holidays in general. I have always felt that maybe the Jehovah's Witnesses maybe have something going on here. I am not making fun of them. I really wonder why we have special days of celebration. My teacher did note, however that it was the anniversary for Darwin's birthday. I told him that it was the two hundredth anniversary, specifically. My feelings on this does have little to do with religion, or lack of religious conviction. I do know that other people get excited about holidays, though.
Perhaps it comes from not having much money. Maybe it comes from years of working in the service sector. For decades, I found most Christmases, most Thanksgiving, most birthdays caused more headache than joy. When I worked in restaurants, hotels, and retail places, I came to accept most holidays were just extra days to serve consumers' needs. My girlfriend asked me once if I was going to be able to see my family on Christmas Day. I reiterated that I was visiting them on the week before. My family lives several hundred miles away from me, and I was confused why anyone would care what exact day I was visiting my family home.
So, outside the schedules of people I am seeing, I do not understand why anyone would care when I came to them. There are times when many people have their own plans. I know through my experiences that ill-planned trips have resulted in me not seeing people I want to see, and challenged my ability to do what I want to do.
I suppose that I write this to find out if anyone else out there shares in my indifference. I love that others remember me on the holidays that they celebrate.
Anyway, I remember one day, several years ago, that I decided to go to the movies. I decided that I like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, so went to the movie You've Got Mail. It is hardly an earth shattering, thought-provoking film. Still, I enjoyed the movie. I thought as a romantic comedy it left me feeling a little warmer, a little lighter than I was entering the theatre.
It was a twilight showing, and with the sun dropping down upon entering the theatre, the parking lot was dark. I watched the people leaving the film. I watched the couples crossing the parking lot after this film showing. Many of these people were holding each other, and I saw kissing, hand holding. I realized that I was exiting the theatre alone. This was not a big deal, except I had many choices of films to watch. I could have watched a violent film. I could have watched a thoughtful film. I could have watched some movie that could have emboldened, edified my manhood. There was a point where I saw how something that night something was frightfully wrong.
That day I stopped to reflect on the calendar. That day was February 14, 1999. My heart sank in my chest. Something sickening that I should randomly choose to watch a romantic comedy alone on Valentine's Day. I can only guess how I managed myself that night, but ten years later, I asm grateful to say I survived that day.
Thank you for reading.