Sunday, February 15, 2009

Another Holiday Greeting

I have little regard for holidays in general. I have always felt that maybe the Jehovah's Witnesses maybe have something going on here. I am not making fun of them. I really wonder why we have special days of celebration. My teacher did note, however that it was the anniversary for Darwin's birthday. I told him that it was the two hundredth anniversary, specifically. My feelings on this does have little to do with religion, or lack of religious conviction. I do know that other people get excited about holidays, though.

Perhaps it comes from not having much money. Maybe it comes from years of working in the service sector. For decades, I found most Christmases, most Thanksgiving, most birthdays caused more headache than joy. When I worked in restaurants, hotels, and retail places, I came to accept most holidays were just extra days to serve consumers' needs. My girlfriend asked me once if I was going to be able to see my family on Christmas Day. I reiterated that I was visiting them on the week before. My family lives several hundred miles away from me, and I was confused why anyone would care what exact day I was visiting my family home.

So, outside the schedules of people I am seeing, I do not understand why anyone would care when I came to them. There are times when many people have their own plans. I know through my experiences that ill-planned trips have resulted in me not seeing people I want to see, and challenged my ability to do what I want to do.

I suppose that I write this to find out if anyone else out there shares in my indifference. I love that others remember me on the holidays that they celebrate.

Anyway, I remember one day, several years ago, that I decided to go to the movies. I decided that I like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, so went to the movie You've Got Mail. It is hardly an earth shattering, thought-provoking film. Still, I enjoyed the movie. I thought as a romantic comedy it left me feeling a little warmer, a little lighter than I was entering the theatre.

It was a twilight showing, and with the sun dropping down upon entering the theatre, the parking lot was dark. I watched the people leaving the film. I watched the couples crossing the parking lot after this film showing. Many of these people were holding each other, and I saw kissing, hand holding. I realized that I was exiting the theatre alone. This was not a big deal, except I had many choices of films to watch. I could have watched a violent film. I could have watched a thoughtful film. I could have watched some movie that could have emboldened, edified my manhood. There was a point where I saw how something that night something was frightfully wrong.

That day I stopped to reflect on the calendar. That day was February 14, 1999. My heart sank in my chest. Something sickening that I should randomly choose to watch a romantic comedy alone on Valentine's Day. I can only guess how I managed myself that night, but ten years later, I asm grateful to say I survived that day.

Thank you for reading.


Marites said...

I used to have that indifference when I was younger but as I grow older, I learn to appreciate how holidays get people you want to get together in one place. Of course, I still rue the fact that commercialism put too much emphasis on spending on holidays but that's reality.

It's funny but no matter how i got teased not having a date or watching a romantic on Valentine's day, I couldn't care less:) For me, holidays or not, as long as I am happy with myself, i'll celebrate.

Nyl said...

Holidays are times to remember the very important thing in life which is relationship(in whatsoever form). But whether you spend the holidays with someone or not, it's how you respond to it that still matters.

i don't wanna get used to being alone during valentines day and so I make sure if am not with my love ones, at least, I have made other people (not related to me) my own little way.

Let's just enjoy life Keith! after all it's for free.:)

Keith said...

Marites, I am not fully indifferent. If I am available to participate, I do.

My memory of that day was perhaps not too tragic, either. Thank you for stopping by.

Keith said...

Nyl, I embrace the liberty to celebrate any day! My sadness comes in ghaving to defend not being sad when someone asks "You get to be with anyone on...?"

Answering questions seems silly. Why ask for a reason to feel sad?

I hope I always celebrate my times with family and loved ones no matter when I get to see them.